Who is Isabel Losada?

Isabel Losada is a British author who wrote one of my favourite books about sexuality. It’s called Sensation.

Listen to our interview below:

My love letter to Sensation:

Reading Sensation was like taking a mind-altering drug. It expanded my mind to reveal, what I call, ‘the pantomime of sex’. That is, the lack of communication, intimacy, pleasure, bodily sensation and sexual knowledge that is commonplace and tolerated on a day-to-day basis among many of us.

Thing shifted after I read Sensation. I spoke about the book to anyone who would listen. I made my partner read it. I went to a book signing and bought copies for friends. I shared Isabel’s interview about sexual pleasure on Russell Brand’s podcast on all my Whatsapp chat groups. Fan girl? A bit. Enlightened? It felt similar!

Sensation revealed the potential of what sex can be and the extent to which we can experience pleasure and sensation in our bodies. It opened up a redefined notion of what sex and intimacy can be, placing emphasis on arousal, sensuality and togetherness rather than orgasms and penetration. Sensation roused something in me. I felt inspired to explore sexuality and pleasure, to canvas its many colours and flavours and to deconstruct our limited understanding of sexuality. G’s Spot has much to thank Isabel for: she expanded my mind and ignited the flames of curiosity and learning about elevating the sexual experience. It was such a treat to interview her.

Nuggets of Isabel’s Wisdom:

“Women need to shift their perspective: their bodies are vehicles for themselves, not their partners. Their bodies are designed for pleasure for themselves”

“The pressure to achieve this thing called ‘red hot sex’ gets in the way of real intimacy and pleasure and sensation in the body”

‘There’s a traditional depiction of sex which is very much of the penetrative version… There’s this terrible word ‘foreplay’ – what happens before, that the man feels he has to suffer through – then there’s the penetrative sex and then if the woman isn’t orgasmic by the time [it’s over]…she thinks she’s broken”

“The current model of understanding of sexuality – ie penetration, penetration, penetration and orgasms – is limiting, to say the least”

“We are notoriously bad at expecting the man in our life to be psychic. We expect them to be able to please us when often, we don’t know how to please ourselves”

“Speaking for myself, I am more at ease standing on stage in front of 10,000 people talking about sexuality, I’m fine. Put me on a horizontal surface with someone I’m fond of and I find it fantastically difficult to communicate anything”

“You wouldn’t go to the Indian restaurant one week and order the Vindaloo, and then because it blew your head off you go back and order the Vindaloo for the rest of your life and never try anything else on the menu. That’s what most couples do [with sex]. They find one thing that works and they do that and they go on doing that until they bore themselves into celibacy”